Artie Lange attempts suicide. Stabs self 9 times.

Howard Stern sidekick Artie Lang is in the hospital after stabbing himself nine times in an apparent suicide attempt, according to Page 6 of the New York Post.

Damn. This really puts into perspective a lot of the torment that Artie Lange has talked about on air. I mean, you've got to have some serious demons in order to a) try and kill yourself, b) in such a violent fashion and c) STAB YOURSELF NINE TIMES.

As horrific as this is...9 times dude? That is pretty impressive. Artie Lange is the new hardcore.